Team Bif - Season III News

Team Bif captures elusive FCCAA crown!

(Mar. 4, 2007) -- T-BIF HEADQUARTERS, BLUE LAKE

Jontae Vinson and Team Bif have completed their third season of play atop the standings to finally bring home the FCCAA's top prize, a beautifully crafted trophy only a mother could love!

T-Bif (11-3) finished up the season in fine fashion with a 108-85 trouncing of Gary's HSF Xpress Basement Cleaners.

Alex's Killer Whales finish up 2nd overall by dropping Bodie's Boners 105-65 and Jack's D2 Dynamos fall to 3rd place after being dumped by the .500 Holcomb's Heroes 117-89.

Team Bif in position to capture FCCAA title!

(Feb. 26, 2007) -- T-BIF HEADQUARTERS, BLUE LAKE

Riding the backs of teammates Jontae Vinson and Vincent Camper (both of CSULA), Team Bif sits atop the standings with one game remaining of the 2006-2007 FCCAA season.

T-Bif (10-3) needs only to tie Jack's D2 Dynamos (9-4) and Alex's Killer Whales (9-4) to capture it's first championship after two consecutive runner-up seasons. Having split the season series with both teams, a tie in the standings would necessitate a comparison of team captains. Vinson, the shiny-domed captain of Team Bif, has likely averaged more Fantasy points per game this season than Dwuan Rice of the D2 Dynamos and J.T. Tipton of the Killer Whales, but calculation may not be necessary if Team Bif finishes with a win in Week 14.

The Dynamos close out their season against Holcomb's Heroes (6-6) and the Killer Whales finish against Bodie's Boners (7-6)

T-Bif capitalizes on Vinson's monter game vs. HSU

(Jan. 21, 2007) -- T-BIF HEADQUARTERS, BLUE LAKE

The Team Captain's 54 Fpts. on Friday night vs. Humboldt State proved to be the deciding factor in the matchup between the #1 seed Holcomb's Heroes and his #2 seeded team in the FCC2A. Much of Team Bif's success this season has been on the back of CSULA and it's two best players, Vinson and solid teammate Vincent Camper.

The Mighty Ducks had their "Flying V" and Team Bif has it's "Flying Double-V"!

Coach Justin had this statement after escaping with the W.

"I need to take a shower after this one." "To get this win makes me feel like the dirtiest rat bastard in the world right now, as it came at the expense of our beloved alma mater." "This is a new low for Team Bif, even lower than draft night when we selected Rick Cardoso!" "I would like to apologize to Humboldt fans everywhere for benefitting from Jontae's killer evening."

In other Team Bif news, Coach Justin's "Tanya Harding" approach to trading backfired as his goons were supposed to take out one of his non-producing players, thus opening up a roster slot for someone who could score 15 or more Fpts. per week! However, the goons mistakenly targeted David Van Someren, a quality player from SFSU who has scored well for Team Bif this year. Van Someren has not been seen or heard from in 3 weeks, so his vacancy has prompted a disabled list style trade for Dante Green of Cal State Monterey Bay. Coach Justin had a message for the non-producing portion of his roster.

"If I were you guys, I would watch my back!" "Now you see what my goons are capable of." "If you don't start scoring some freaking Fpts., you could be next!" "Due to the unlimited nature of Disabled List trades, I can use my goons at any time, so get on the scoreboard, or WATCH YOUR BACK!"

DISCLAIMER: All names and accounts herein are fictional and do not represent actual people or events!

Mid-Season Report

(Jan. 17, 2007) -- Arcata, CA - FCCAA Headquarters

At the halfway point of our Fantasy season, many teams find themselves in uncharted waters, while others might be feeling that they have been here before. Perennial cellar dweller Alex's Killer Whales are looking down at every other team in the FCCAA. Propelling the Whales to their 6-1 record is Alex's 1st round pick JT Tipton. Although starting the season slowly, the Sonoma State flopper has recored double doubles in four of his last five games. Right behind the big guy is hot shooting Jon Baird, Chico State (in the running for the Trade-of-the-Year postseason award).

Also up for TOTY, Augie-ben-dogi-Johnston from Monterey Bay has helped Jack's D2 Dynamos stay afloat (4-3) despite a scoring discrepancy in his week 7 game versus the Heroes. After learning of the scoring debacle, Coach Sara was heard saying, “That Jack will do ANYthing to win, cheat, lie, he was even taunting me after Saturday night's game.”

Dethroned Bulldog coach Chris' replacement, recently dethroned Raider head coach Art Shell, has done little to stem the tide. Last weeks' beating at the hands of the Marauders was their 7th defeat in a row, leaving fans wondering if another front office shake up is in the works.

Self-proclaimed Master of All Fantasy sports coach Gary has failed his fans for a second straight year (2-5). “It's like he had his player list upside down when he was drafting people,” Coach Matt declared. Yet we should be sympathetic due to his being 8th in draft order. Drafting Luis Pulido (Pomona) 2nd was his downfall and he hasn't recovered since. He does have two victories even though one was a cheapie (beating Sara week 2 with his three players against her two).

Always-the-bridesmaid-never-the-bride Team Bif is trailing the Whales by a game so far due to some poor trading (Matt Evans????) and inconsistent performances (Jamil Muchell SF, Daryl Lawlor SD). Coach Justin remarked, “I was stupid to trade the Rat (Rick Cardoso) for Evans.”

Equally stupid was the pickup of the Rat by Bodie's Boners as Cardoso has been a non-entity the last few weeks, letting the annual powerhouse Boners slip to 4-3, holding down sixth place all alone.

Joining the D2 Dynamos at a 4-3 record are the Marauders and the Heroes, giving the promise of many exciting games down the stretch.

T-Bif 69ed by Killer Whales

(Jan. 3, 2007) -- T-BIF HEADQUARTERS, BLUE LAKE

Following up on last week's beatdown of FCCAA #1 seed Holcomb's Heroes, the Killer Whales have struck again, this time against the #2 seed Team Bif.

This puts Coach Alex in a very unfamiliar position, the top spot in the standings! When asked how he thought his team would respond to the huge target being hung on their backs, Alex had this to say:

"It can only go down from here." "I mean, do you really think the Killer Whales can sustain this for any length of time?" "I have absolutely no confidence that my players can handle this much pressure." "I am having the Gatorade jug re-stocked with egg nog to try and keep them loose on the court."

The Killer Whales will have to contend with HSF Xpress to open the new year, which may seem like a gimme at first glance, but even thought the short-benched Xpress racked up a miniscule 11 Fpts last week against the Boners, Coach Gary is confident that his team at full strength can hang in their with the best teams in the league. "We are due and Duck-man will not be denied this week."

T-Bif silences critics with blowout victory

(Dec. 19, 2006) -- T-BIF HEADQUARTERS, BLUE LAKE

The roof has been raised once again by the mighty Team-Bif and opponents are scurrying back to the drawing board, desperate to find a way to defeat the premiere team in the FCCAA.

"It's all about W's", explains Justin, the team's 3rd year owner/coach extraordinaire. "We just find a way to keep winning, whatever it takes."

Some high-browed critics have taken offense to Coach KUJ's brand of basketball, degrading and humiliating adversaries until they simply cannot continue. In response, Justin issued a statement to the media after his most recent destruction of rival Chris's Bulldogs squad. Reports of the brawl occuring at the end of that matchup have reached every corner of the galaxy.

"I feel bad for the league, I feel bad for T-Bif and the Bulldogs," Justin said. "Very poor display of respecting basketball and respecting the game in the best place in the world to play basketball."

There had previously been some bad blood between Justin and Bulldogs coach Chris after a close week 11 loss (120-123) last season that derailed Justin's hopes of a season 2 title. Justin wouldn't talk about why he had his starters on the floor late in a blowout. Chris said he even told Vinson that he never should have been in the game at the time.

"I just said to him, 'You know, you're up 20, you're up 19 with a minute and half to go, you and (Vincent) Camper really shouldn't be in the game right now,"' Chris said. "We had surrendered, those guys shouldn't even be in the game at that point in time." "They were having their way with us, I think Vinson had just made one dunk when he reversed and spun in the air. And I think Quick didn't want our home crowd to see that again. So he fouled him."

In Blue Lake, Justin was irate with Chris. Justin accused Chris of a "premeditated" act, underscoring his disgust with the Bulldogs coach with expletives.

"It was directed by Chris," he said during a shootaround. "I think his actions after the game were despicable. He made a bad situation worse. I'll swear on my children's life that I never thought about running up the score. I wanted to get a big win on the road." "My team has had trouble holding leads at the end of games," he added. "I didn't want the score to get under 10 points because if it would've gotten under 10 points it would've had a negative feeling on my team."

Vinson's conduct represents a big blow to the player, team and league. He has been getting more marketing opportunities as one of the league's brightest young stars. Commissioner Gordon Johnson took none of that into account when issuing his decision. "We judged him on his actions on the court, period," Johnson said. "And they deserved a harsh penalty."

As punishment, Vinson will be forced to single-handedly destroy Chris's Bulldogs with a blindfold on and one arm tied behind his back when these two teams meet again for a rematch later this season.

Can't we all just get along?!

(Dec. 19, 2006) -- WESTWOOD APARTMENTS, ARCATA -- Seattle Post-Intelligencer (AP)

The FCCAA came down hard on Team Bulldog and Team Bif and none of the brawlers was spared.

Not Jontae Vinson, one of the FCCAA's leading scorers, who got the harshest punishment, a 15-game suspension. And not the teams themselves, which were fined an unprecedented US $500,000 each yesterday.

The brawls started after what looked like a clear "running up of the score" from Team Bif. The final score was a crushing 155-99 with Team Bulldog, a pre-season favorite dropped to a dismal 0-3 on the year. Team Bif climbs again to 3-0.

"I was very disappointed," commissioner Gordon Johnson said. "Clearly, we're not getting through or players in certain circumstances just don't give a crap".

"I would suggest that those players will not have long careers in the FCCAA." "But maybe a fantasy wrestling league" he added

In all, seven players were suspended for a fight that spilled into the stands at multiple California locations with just minutes remaining in Friday and Saturday night's games.

Also penalized were: Team Bulldog's Cameron Quick and T-Bif's Vincent Camper, 10 games; Bulldog's Heath "bar" Colvin, six; teammate Andrew Kochevar, four. T-Bif's Kaelen Daniels and the Bulldog's Damus were penalized one game for leaving the bench.

Though there was no separate penalty for Bulldog coach Chris, who warned Jontae not to go into the lane before the mayhem started, Bif's coach Justin singled him out for the sharpest criticism, calling his actions "weak sauce."

"There's no question in my mind it was premeditated," said Justin, "He made a lame situation worse. He's a big ninny for what he's trying to do."

Chris declined comment on Justin's remarks but maintained that the running up of the score was the catayst of the fight. "He (Justin) could have taken his starters out, we'd already conceded"

"We are in concurrence with whatever the league has offered us and whatever the commissioner said we support and will abide by," Justin added. "But Coach Chris' accusations are just plain horse pucky!"

It was the leagues scariest scene since the sumo-style brawl between BODIES' BONERS players and HSF XPRESS fans back in the old FGNAC two years ago. The league is still recovering from that episode and Johnson made it clear players and coaches needed to control themselves.

"We have set up the goal of eliminating thumb-wars from our game. But we haven't eliminated them completely," Johnson said. "But I think with a few less beers….wait what the hell am I saying?"

The record fines were "a more general message that I'm going to start holding our teams accountable," he said. "Woo F'n HOO!"

"there goes my beer money" Coach Chris added

The two teams will meet up again for what will surely be a grudge match in week 10.

"Fine or no fine, next time Team Bif better watch out." Chris remarked. "Or at least pretend to be scared"

Draft night goes off without a hitch!

(Nov. 25, 2006) -- "With the first overall pick in the 2006 FCCAA draft, Sara selects Kevin Johnson of Humboldt State University."

Replenished with a fresh supply of CCAA recruits, the Fantasy CCAA is all set to resume action this week, beginning with the CPP/CSUSB game Monday night, and ending with HSU/CPP on Saturday night. Stay tuned for extensive draft analysis, rosters are available here.